Showing posts with label self pity. Show all posts
Showing posts with label self pity. Show all posts

Monday, October 15, 2018

Search for soul

It was Monday morning.

I woke up as early as 3 AM.

Anxiety and depression pollutes my mind. I become sad not because of the sad memories but because of the good ones. I am also disappointed not because of what happened to me but because I let it happen. 

You see most of the time it is on our decision s in life that give us regrets. I never want to blame myself of all the bad things. It is so tiring. My heart is exhausted of the aches. Its been 3 months since I left Cebu City. I am now living in my Mom's house here in Manila.

When I woke up it makes so hard for me to go back to sleep.

So I decided to go out today. I thought about the place where I usually go years ago. Hoping to find peace of mind. Hoping to find inspiration and more understanding of myself. And most of all, I wanted to find the strength to forgive myself.

The only place to go that I know which includes animals, different animals and a lake is the Wildlife conservation and rehabilitation center. Ideal for my troubled mind.

So I had my lunch, prepared my bag, tablet, tripod and Smartphone with me. I also tried not to turn on my data thus, the purpose of this trip is to find serenity and distance from people. 

From my house I walked to the terminal of tricycle. I just would like to mention that girl had a very satisfying smell. I'm not sure if its her perfume of the smell of her hair or just that cheap baby powder or a mix of both. I did my best not to talk or even look at her face. She is cute though.
I hopped out of the tricycle without hesitation as we split ways.

While I was walking at the bridge I noticed the clouds in the direction where I am going is getting dark. I guess it is gonna rain. Just perfect!!!

I get in a bus, noticed some water droplets sticking outside the window.  As soon as I hopped out the bus, my Phone rang. I answered the call and yes, you guessed it! It is a callback from that BPO company where I applied online. Same drill. She asked questions, I answer 'em with polite voice and happy conversation. She said I passed the initial interview and I thanked her for baring with me given the loud noises from the vehicles. 

A moment of walk to where I wanted to go and, there. Wildlife, I am at.

I paid for entrance fee which I didn't expected from 8 pesos before now it is 30.

Walked to find the old big bird cages.

You'll find out what happened next if you watch this video of mine.


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