Just Like Them

Why do I feel so empty?

I don't want this feeling.

I don't like being sad.

Many times I told myself I'm tired of having this kind of feeling.

Of-course there's a lot of people out there that is having bigger problems than I do.

Well maybe I'm just like the rest of the people searching absolute joy.

I remember..

I tried a couple of times to register my blog at ad-sense and I have been rejected for a couple of times it said that my articles are mostly in unsupported language that is why I'm trying my best to write these in English.

But then Google emailed me saying that my articles have insufficient content. I don't get it. I know I'm not good at writing and firstly I only got engaged in writing my story just to express my feelings, emotions and all that I cannot open up with people personally.

Let's just say I enjoy this freedom of speech even though I sometimes lack in grammar and construction of speech. I just want to write down my thoughts. My life's highlights and other stuff.

It's a pity I didn't had the time to write down some of them because I've had hard time trying to participate. Also, because I want to believe that I belong somewhere. Somewhere or something that could make me realize my so called "self". The guy that no one can take away.

I gotta go though I still wanted to stay here in Goodwill Park. Nice weather fresh air.

Well. Bye.

I love you Lord

July 19, 2013

Emer's canteen again. I'm having 3 muffins topped with peanut butter and a cup of instant coffee. I'm not

sure if this morning is happy or sad or.... if it's going to be another boring day. Of course I hope it isn't.

2 nights before now, I had the opportunity to sing and play guitar at our church in PCM Sta. Mesa.

After 4 long years of not cooperating and joining music ministry, I was also glad to be almost not losing

a nerve in singing in the middle of many people. It started lst weekend when I was recording my version

of the song "Mahal na mahal kita panginoon (I love you Lord). I had a hard time to record my first layer

(the gutar 1) because of the noises outside our building so I just sat in our stairs and then just practiced

there. I felt the songs and turned out I was worshipping God not just playing or singing which feels

sooo good that my its my heart that sings. Then another additional tunes came to my heart and mind

that added styles to the song. Also is the humming. I'm just a simple composer and not some really

talented singer that's why I often leave the singing part to whoever could sing but that time is new. It is

worship. :-)

The same singing and feeling I made when I sang in our church as if no one is watching. As if I was still

there at the stairs. Alone :)